Seeing as this is my first post of the year, I wanted to write about resolutions. More specifically, my resolutions going into 2016.
Over the past few years, I’ve found that people are so desperate to understand one another, they create labels, draw conclusions, and form judgements about others, all without making a genuine effort get to know someone, or encouraging them to be themselves. I’m a rebel. I always have been - I’m an Aquarian after all. But, over the last few years, I’ve watched that part of my personality diminish. While nowadays being opinionated, politically incorrect, uncensored, and incredibly honest is warmly received, and often celebrated, for me it was most often discouraged. I was repeatedly taught that if I wanted to achieve all the goals of success I’d set for myself, I had to get people to like me by keeping my opinions to myself, and following all the rules. However, all it did was confuse people about who I was and what I was about - including myself.
Being uncomfortable in your own skin throughout your twenties is one thing, but feeling that way as you head into your thirties is quite another. Therefore, my New Year’s resolution is a simple, yet, complicated one: be myself. Declaring this year, the year to spend most of my time, money, and energy doing the things I’ve always wanted to, without the concern of perception, I’ve decided to resurrect my uncensored voice, write more, take improv. classes, and let my freak flag fly - once again. It’s been standing at half mass ever since the death of my fearlessness, which, not coincidentally, took place at the very same time people began luring me into the different boxes I’d never fit in. And, after crawling in and out of every single one, I’ve decided the time has come to simply, build one for myself - if, for no other reason, than to reconnect with who I was, and carry on as I was always meant.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my generations junior, it’s that we are all entitled. And, it’s true. As humans, we are all entitled to the things that bring us joy, and make us feel complete, happy, and fulfilled. Yet, rather than give ourselves the “go ahead” to go out and get them, so many of us sit back and wait, for either approval, a sign, or, someone or something, to give them to us. In short, we wait for the permission to be ourselves. But, as I said earlier, people will always challenge what they don’t understand, and they’ll most definitely, always fight to control it.
Sometimes, the only metaphorical home a person can have is the one they are forced to create for themselves. So, it’s time for this girl to put on her construction hat and get to work. Time is ticking, and I’m certainly not getting any younger. But, for that, I am glad. Youth is wasted on the young, and the gift of wisdom is worth aging for.